Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in shala4ever's LiveJournal:

Saturday, April 14th, 2007
4:24 pm	Confused I am raging a war with myself, not knowing what i truely want. I am frightened and homesick. In a way that i yern to be in my bed looking out my window seeing the birch trees swaying in the wind. Making a eerie but lovely creeking noise that is just soothes one soul when needed it the most. How i want to hear those moans from the trees. Given that I am 12 hours away I am sure that I wont hear those sounds again unless I make up my mind about this problem. My period is having a little effect on how I feel. But I dont think enough that it sway the heart. I have not said I love you to him in a while. Why? Why haven't I said something to the effect that will allow me to express my feelings for him? Is it that perhaps i may only like him or is it just i am not comfortable yet to truely say it? The questions could go on and on. I am positive that he has see this change. He has yet to open up to me about it. I am in an area that I am not familar with. The cuddling is coming across to me as invading my space. I am used to being by myself and having my area that no one will step into. I am more or less on edge at all times. My urges of almost all contact has droped. I want a hug from my parents that is all. The constant tearing up is becoming old yet it never seems to soothe the open wounds that I have. How could I be careless? June is coming in two months. That is way to long to wait to see my parents. Mom and Dad have been nothing but supportive in everyway thinking that i would only be able to learn from my own experiences. Plain and simple. I don't know what to do. Current Mood: confused (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 20th, 2005
6:49 pm	Hey guys, I know that it has been a while. Well right now I am home for a full week and time for some relaxation....or that is what I thought I was going to have. Nope as usual I got draged into doing wood for this week and I am tell you now that it sucks balls. Although that is not the true reason why I am updating my journal. There has been a little bug in my ear talking to be about my emotions and how I have been dealing with things. Believe me the bug has given me a reason to swat at it and yet I believe that it is right. Is it time for me to tell my true emotions and feeling to a complete stranger???? Therefore allowing me to live with my self,maybe just maybe could this just be the answer that I have been looking for. For the problem solver in my life is a psychologist and personally I believe that I may listen to this little bug that is siting on my shoulder. Well that is all for now. Even though I am insanly board out of my mind... for i can only hope that I will be able to see Reg sometime this vacation....Ian my dear dear Ian, you are out of the state so i can't come and visit so I am not playing favorites. hehe will talk to you guy l8r. (Comment on this)
Monday, January 24th, 2005
4:43 pm	Well this is the very first entry of my live journal, i happy but not thrilled. Don't ask me why be I just don't feel that I belong in college. For everyone around me is exceeding above me, as I sit back wondering why??? Well personally I have no clue. But I am not going to give up that easy. I will in fact strive to survive. But I personally can not tell you how much Ian and Reggie mean to me. Just another additions on to my family. Well guess that you have heard enough so I guess I am going to sign off and go on with my life slowly allowing you guys to witness it through my eyes. (Comment on this)